Excuses, excuses, excuses.....

I've been trying to find any excuse to not finish the account of the car accident that resulted in the death of my Aunt Rufina(Ruth). I was named after her and my Aunt Maria.

I need to take a walk
I have to finish this mystery
I need to change my sheets
I have to vacuum and dust
I feel like making soup
I have to run to the grocery store
I have to pay bills
Need to check the mail
Have to touch base with family

On and on and on.

Every time I start to document on Ancestry the account of the accident that Manuel shared with me on 4/17/2016, I am reminded of the irony that we talked on Scott's (my dead son) birthday. I was sitting with Manuel in his dining room in Santa Rosa, CA. We had just had a great meal provided by his wife Donna. Manuel started sharing. I listened. The account played out in slow motion. How can it not? He was 16 years old and the woman he considered his mother died. They were 1600+ miles from any family.
A small sample of what is on Ancestry:

Faustino and Rufina had just bought a brand new 1950 Nash. Manuel was 16 and just received his CA driver's license. Rufina wanted to go to New York to be baptized  as a Jehovah Witness. A faith that she truly believed in. Faustino, Rufina, Manuel, Tino Jr, Angie and Jackie(1+ y/o) traveled 800 miles to Albuquerque. There they dropped Tino and Angie at my grandparents house, picked up Auntie Alice and Louie(1 y/o) for the trip to New York and then on to Niagara Falls. Manuel was thrilled that Faustino let him drive on this fateful trip. As they approached Charleroi, PA Faustino told Manuel, who was driving, that they would be staying in the nearest town for the night. So Manuel pulled over so Faustino could drive. They were at a crossroad. As Faustino watched the oncoming traffic he proceeded to turn. A car containing 4 drunk GIs decided to turn and plowed into the Nash. Faustino, Rufina and Jackie were in the front seat. Manuel, seated right behind Faustino, Auntie Alice and Louie in the back. He saw Alice wrap herself around Louie, and Rufina wrap herself around Jackie. As any mother would do to protect their children. Rufina was thrown into the windshield and suffered a fractured skull. Faustino who had some broken ribs jumped out of the car. He kept trying to open the passenger door to get to Rufina. He finally wrenched it open, grabbed her, and  started running down the highway screaming for help as he carried her in his arms. People stopped to assist. She died a few hours later in the Charleroi Monessen Hospital. Auntie Alice broke her neck and had some fractured vertebra. Manuel had a black eye. He  remembers that the people who took them, Manuel, Jackie and Louie, into their home were loving caring.

The pain, sorrow and crushing helplessness that my Grandpa Julian and Grandma Deluvina felt when they received that phone call is beyond my understanding. One daughter dead. The other severely injured. Their 2 grandkids, with not a scratch on them, in a strange place. So far from their ability to comfort. I can only compare it to the night I knew Scott died and all I wanted was my sangre, my family around me. And my heart breaks for them.
Rufina was born Dec 1917. Just 2 short months after the death of her 1 y/o brother. In Oct 1927 four of her siblings died in a fire. Maria died Oct 1951.

What happened to the GIs? Did they survive? Had they survived an overseas tour of duty only to suffer with the knowledge that their actions caused the death of an American stateside? Who could live with those regrets?

And my last excuse? I HAVE to cry.