I have been reluctant to write anything because sometimes I want to revert to old behavior...BADLY
So as to refrain from dishonoring The Creator, I don't write. I crochet, knit or go through my box of records. Which is what I started doing this afternoon. What a treasure of information. In looking for the copy of the lawsuit my Grandpa and Grandma filed against one of his brothers, I found my son's autopsy report and death certificate.
So much floods back of the night. The night Scott died was a crazy night at work. The hospital was full of RSV infants, adults with pneumonia, and Border crossing women in labor. I was running like a typical adrenaline junkie Respiratory Therapist. Looking for equipment, consulting with nurses and doctors and thirsty as all get out. I called my ex every night at 9:30. That night while signing in blood to use some of the nursery equipment on the floor, I felt like my world had drastically changed. All of a sudden my vision and tasks became skewed. It was close to 8:30. It was like something in my "realm" had drastically changed. My son's autopsy report states he died at 8:20. I knew I had to get to a phone and call home. When my ex answered he said he was about ready to come to the hospital. I told him, "Scotty's dead, right?" Yes indeed my baby was dead at the age of 32.My wish is that no one reading this ever experiences that. He died February 16, 2006. Two months before his 33rd birthday. I would have liked to be there with him as I was with my Grandpa and my Mom, but circumstances prohibited that. He died from a drug overdose and an 80% occluded LAD. He's been gone a little less than 8 years. It seems like a lifetime ago. God's blessing on my heart that I reread the autopsy report and didn't fall apart? I think so.
We had three deaths in 4 months. I say we because I was still married. My mom died in the presence of my Sis, bro-in-law, me and her Hospice Nurse. God bless that nurse. She knew just what to say to help my Mom cross over on November 8, 2005; mom-in-law December 21, 2005, and son February 16, 2006. That was a tough year.
Found one of my consulting contract. I consulted on RT patients, wrote policy and procedure manuals, etc. And was handsomely paid. I should have kept doing that but I didn't like to travel as much anymore. Glad I bought a heavy duty shredder.
The mortgage from the house in Deming. Shred! Took possession of the house on April 1, 2004, April FOOL'S Day. That should have been my first clue. Now it's remortgaged so that my ex can afford the payment. But...that info was shared in a previous blog. 'nuff said.
Wow! Found genealogy documents from 1995. Way before Ancestry.com---which makes research much easier;) I took a genealogy class in 1993, then worked like a fiend to gather every bit of evidential record from the Albuquerque Special Collections Library, churches, newspaper articles and Santa Fe. The Internet was alive and doing well. We had genealogy Chat rooms led by some pretty amazing people, where we could post names, dates and location. Traced my family tree back to 1640 in Old Albuquerque, New Spain.
One of the names I researched to no avail was "Brito". but I chatted with a man in Florida who had documented that history. Sadly I have not been able to make that connection. Mostly because my focus changed from research and needle point to working 2 jobs and crocheting.
Anyway....I didn't find the document. But, I have crocheted hats, scarves, and an Amigurumi Turtle. Need to start on cowls before winter is gone. Although they are the rage right now. I may even do some in a light lacy pattern to be worn as more of an accessory . Or, make a bunch of funny looking animals for the Arts and Craft Fair.
I think I'm finally getting the hang of retirement.
You all have a great day in the Lord.
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